David Weiss: 'Will Smith Was a Blasting Cap Waiting to Explode'

This Los Angeles-based freelancer grew up in Oak Park. He has written for Newsweek, the LA Herald Examiner and Men's Journal and co-founded the band Was (Not Was).

By David Weiss

Commenting on the issue du jour – i.e., the slap that stopped the Oscars cold – means admitting you were watching that star-bangled trade-show gala in the first place.

I confess: between forkfuls of delicious shrimp risotto and sips of lower-shelf white wine, we watched the new, improved, all-inclusive (in the modern sense) Academy Awards with a keen eye for kitschy sentiment, schmaltzy songs that pass for enduring masterpieces and of course the fawning who-are-you-wearing nonsense -- as if any of us cares or could afford to buy those carnival midway getups. What in tarnation, ya' call that a dress?!

But let’s get back to the real best drama.

I needn’t recount blow-by blow the tuxedoed jousting match we will all watch for video-viral-eternity: Smith versus Rock, a one-round, championship battle between a bigger man with a smaller brain, and a defenseless comic armed with nothing other than his quicksilver wit and percussive, self-appreciating cackle. Call it harm versus charm, or just maybe: Will Smith as inventor of a new kind of reality TV. As in, “Did that just happen? What actually did happen? Oh my God, they just pushed the 7-second audio delay button! That was real!

Chris Rock and Will Smith (Photo: AP)

I knew it was a proper psychodrama right away, mostly from years of frittering my life away tube-side, but also knowing that poor Will Smith was a blasting cap waiting to explode, a way-too-rich, dim-bulb solipsist in search of meaning beyond fortune and fame, who on his ultimate day of ego reward and career satisfaction lost his shit with the whole world watching. How did I see that coming, you skeptics might ask?

I’ll tell you. First off, you must know I have no love for Scientology, the slave-ship scam that evil admiral L. Ron Huckster cooked up when he was between pulp science-fiction novels. Man, if that jargon-rich hooey is a religion, you can all send your money to me right now at Davidweiss.god and write it off on next year’s taxes – I’ll be sure to give five cents per million bucks banked to somebody starving somewhere. Trust me.

As my mother used to say, don’t get me started. You see, Will and his dear wife Jada (no bald jokes, though I am sorely tempted) not only cozied up to the ruthless bigwigs at Scientology -- who are so dying for new celebrities to prop up the old (Cruise, Travolta, et al) they even set up a school for rich kids teaching – guess what? – the wacky, Scientology-conceived curriculum reserved for its privileged members only. The open secret is that Jada the Impressionable was in whole hog, Go-Along Will apparently less so, though neither ever publicly copped to having anything at all to do with their closet belief system. Bad for the brand, you know!

Like the very story you’re reading so breathlessly, the Village Leadership Academy -- their non-Scientology school -- is old news by now, having opened in 2008 and shuttered five years later. In between, many teachers were forced to take courses at the so-called Celebrity Center in Hollywood, where A-listers like Cruise are wined and dined for marketing purposes. But take note: the head of Will Smith’s production company, James Lassiter, was presciently quoted at the time: “Don’t let this Scientology shit get in the way of Hancock.” (By the way, I loved that movie, and actually admired his acting chops – so nothing personal, Will. Are we still meeting in Malibu this weekend with the kids and family?) (Scientology reponds below.)

What does all this blather have to do with the bitch-slap heard ‘round the world? As the lawyers love to say, it goes to the fact that anybody stupid, myopic or lost enough to have anything to do with that noxious, child-abusing, family-destroying cult masquerading as religion, is a potential future resident of a nice padded room out in the country somewhere far from the myriad pressures of wealth and fame.

Fragile Male Ego

A bigger question is: Should we be surprised that some such benighted soul at the pinnacle of his celebrated career was poised to free-fall in public, his fragile male ego rent to its razor-thin core by a comic beloved by Black, white and Hindu alike? Rock is offensive at times, sure, but he’s also incredibly funny. Anything is kosher if you get a good laugh -- ask Don Rickles.

Chris Rock (Photo: David Shankbone)

The irony is that Chris Rock’s fatal comic broadside wasn’t a great line – busting Jada for her hair, or lack of same (whether or not he knew of her medical condition) seems a misdemeanor offense compared to the kind of scabrous lines he might have unleashed on the numerous scoundrels in the room. Taking her on for unchosen baldness by referencing a movie no one in the room has seen? A bargain basement gag at best, but okay, it is lookist at worst. 

But that such a lame, insensitive barb could unleash the Creature that Devoured Cleveland -- who in a moment of unhinged fury would destroy his revered public image forever -- is evidence that Will has issues way deeper than defending helpless alopecia sufferers everywhere.

Not that it’s my place to make such an observation from the sidelines, but perhaps Smith had so much buried hurt and rage inside himself from having watched his father beat his mother senseless when he was nine years old, that his entire life was a ticking prelude to the hour he would act out his suppressed anger, stunted virility and impotence. My sympathies, truly, to that poor child, and of course to his mother. 

And woe as well to Will Smith the grown man, with his windowpane open marriage to a woman giving succor to abusive, patriarchal cynics pretending to spirituality, who deign to call their mind-control, Amway-like hustle a religion!

Perfidy and Self-Interest

I’m no fan of organized anything, but I especially disdain wealthy psychopaths (whether L. Ron Hubbard or his malevolent successor, David Miscavige) using religion as a business model to hoodwink and bankrupt their needy and susceptible acolytes. Aren’t people suffering enough just being alive in these fraught times without stealing their souls and emptying their bankbooks simultaneously? Truly shameless.

There ought to be a law, or G-Men hardy enough to challenge fraud draped in the raiments of spirituality. Yeah yeah, church and state, yadda yadda – I call it the powerful against the powerless. Sometimes our beloved Constitution is nothing more than a smokescreen for perfidy and self-interest. What else is new? 

If poor Will Smith only had an ounce of wisdom to counterbalance the foot-tons of narcissism and simmering rage that drove him to violence Sunday Oscar night, he’d be basking in well-deserved limelight tonight. Obviously, the Scientology-derived Study Tech he and the wife offered at their trés chic Leadership Academy didn’t make much of an impression on the Fresh Prince of Palookaville. I will venture to guess that he got an F in citizenship.

Here’s some unasked-for advice, King William: Roll with the punches next time and let your daffy bride fight her own petulant battles. Imagine that – the guy who played Muhammad Ali in the movies rope-a-doped himself into utter infamy and ridicule.

But Chris Rock, as usual, got the last laugh. He was right – it was unbeatable television! Anyone for a rematch?

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Related:

Michael James: If You Feel Chris Rock Deserved That Slap, You Deserve Whatever Happens to You, March 3

                     Scientology Response

We write on behalf of Scientologists in Detroit, throughout Michigan and across the  United States to express our disgust that Deadline Detroit has just underwritten hate against them in one of the most inclusive cities in America. 

I am referring to David Weiss’ article of April 1, 2022, “Will Smith Was a Blasting Cap  Waiting to Explode,” to which we were alerted by one of our members. He was shocked  to read anti-Scientology propaganda in a news outlet founded by award-winning  journalists and that boasts its “experienced, principled leadership and staff,” its  commitment to local news, and its dedication to providing “stories that matter” with an  “authentic outlook on Detroit.” 

We know very well Weiss’ bigotry is not local, is not authentic and is not representative  of the spirit of your city or its incredible people, with whom our Church partners every  day to uplift Detroit through literacy, anti-drug, and human rights programs.  

As you appear to be an actual journalist, I do not expect you will agree with the assertion  Weiss makes in this article that “Anything is kosher if you get a good laugh.” Weiss on  the other hand does mean that, and he demonstrates it by forwarding bigoted falsehood  after bigoted falsehood in an effort to make his readers “laugh” at the expense of  members of a minority religious community—aligning himself squarely with antisemites,  Islamophobes and other fringe, manifesto-publishing internet bigots. Deadline Detroit has done the same if it stands by Weiss’ “reporting.”

We trust you will protect your organization’s reputation—and that of Detroit itself—by  stripping all anti-Scientology content from this profoundly offensive article.