The report released this week by Detroit emergency manager Kevyn Orr offered a very grim picture of the city's finances. So bad, in fact, that many experts and pundits are predicting the entire mess will likely end up in bankruptcy court.
In short, the city's best hope for financial salvation may be lottery tickets and prayers. With the Powerball jackpot for this Saturday's drawing now expected to top $600 million, I've purchased five tickets on behalf of our city's cash-strapped government.
Winning the Powerball is the ultimate long shot, but if this pays off, I'll donate the lump sum payment (minus a 5% commission for my time) to Detroit's treasury. The donation (Powerball currently estimates the lump sum at $376.9 million) will be directed to help offset the estimated $600-million shortfall in Detroit's pension and retiree systems. The suckers who bought those "budget stabilization" bonds can still pee up a rope after the Chapter 9 filing.
Granted, the whole transaction probably will be a little more complicated than handing a check to a clerk in the Finance Department, but with this kind of bankroll, we can afford a lawyer to figure out the details.
And if our wager doesn't pay off, well, the $10 for tickets is our sunk cost. There will be no obligation to the city. And maybe next week we'll try our luck (on behalf of the city) at Hazel Park Raceway.
