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If you looked to the walls of Detroit’s bar bathrooms for clues to the evolution of humanity, you could be right to think we’ve regressed as a species. Sure, we now have language, but our minds seem to have sunk deep in the gutter since the days cavemen etched animals on the walls of their primitive dwellings.
Aided by booze, humans in Detroit now use other people’s washrooms as a canvas for their self expression. And more often than not that expression is depraved, marked by dick drawings and vagina jokes. (No shock -- they are bathrooms, after all.)
But it’s not all toilet humor all the time. Occasionally, Detroit’s bar bathroom scrawl can be uplifting, political, and even poetic. More appropriate Sharpie messages tell us Detroit hates Trump (he “is a fascist fuck,” one scribble says), loves love, and advise we “just be a nice person” and “a fountain not a drain.”
We’ve photographed the markings left in the bathrooms at eight bars throughout Detroit — plus a bonus plea from a business owner who'd rather the toilet stalls stay silent.
The women's bathroom at Honest John's.
"Bathroom walls are where you write a random thought in your head and compare it to see if everyone else is as weird as you" / "Nah bitch, I'm wierder!" (sic). At Honest John's.
JESUS over "All white Buffs" and a melancholy snail. At Honest John's.
"EAT YA GIRL RIGHT!" / "A penny for my thoughts?" At Honest John's.
"Everyday I'm thinking should I risk it? Add another number to a statistic or use her breast milk to eat my Crispex? / "FUCKING VOTE" The inside a unisex single at Café d'Mongo's Speakeasy.
"Rid of Trump!" at Cass Cafe.
A gay woman makes her mark in the ladies room at Cass Cafe.
"Fuck" / "Feminism is for everyone"
In a Marble Bar unisex: "Donald Trump is a Pussy 4Sho!" Scratch that — "fascist racist mysoginist"(sic). Also, "Pierre Bigdick."
Marble Bar: "Chip chipperson 'chipppin' ya you sock cucker!" / Anarchy
Marble Bar: "LOST GIRLS" / "Just be a nice person" / "I <3 pitts".
Shout out to Danielle Bregoli and Cash Mirror. At Marble Bar.
Bronx bar.
Hamtramck also has a lot of stall art. Here's a sampling from the mensroom at Kelly's — where Pierre Big Dick seems to have also made an appearance.
Kelly's dart deux.
A plea for calm at Jumbo's draws mixed reaction. "#makebathroomgraffitigreatagain" / "AMANDA WAS HERE"
Proclamations of love are common, more so in ladies' rooms. This was found at D'mongo's.
No scrawl at the Majestic complex — just stickers.
At Marshall's: "too many mediocre things in life, love should NOT be one of them" / "Nick the bartender has a (nice) penis"
