Start spreading the news: Detroit is the subject of yet another song, thanks to our own goodwill ambassador, self-proclaimed pimp, redneck rebel and Mitt Romney supporter, Kid Rock. 

The song is “Detroit, Michigan,” a tribute number that Rock performed before a national audience during halftime from Ford Field on Thanksgiving Day.

"Detroit, Michigan" comes from a long line of songs about Detroit. To be Kid Rock-like blunt, many of them are more interesting, melodious and fun than this number, which comes from his new album, "Rebel Soul."

Rock's song was originally recorded in 1964 and sold about 100 copies, according to a story by Free Press music writer Brian McCollum. The song then sat around for nearly half a century, forgotten, before Rock picked up on it.

I think I know why “Detroit, Michigan” remained dormant since the Mayor Jerry Cavanagh era.

It’s not a very good song.

I give Kid Rock a lot of credit for serving as Detroit’s No. 1 P.R. guy. His cocksure attitude and national profile are immensely helpful in promoting the city.

But “Detroit, Michigan” is a sleepy tune with no real hook. Whenever I hear it, I find myself wanting it to end, ASAP. Its litany of local legends seems to run on interminably, and Rock recites the names of several other cities with musical heritages for nearly a minute and a half before he gets around to mentioning Detroit.

And the refrain, “Dee-troit Michigan,” is just not a grabber.

The banal lyrics of “Detroit, Michigan” make me long for Kid Rock's jaunty “Cowboy,” a high-energy song with a geographic vibe, in which he sang:

“Give a toast to the sun, drink with the stars
Get thrown in the mix and tossed out of bars
Then to Tijuana... I wanna roam
Find Motown and tell them fools to come back home
Start an escort service, for all the right reasons
And set up shop at the top of four seasons”

Detroit Has Been A Hit Factory And a Hit Subject

The city not only has produced a tremendous number of songs and multi-platinum hits, but it also has been an extremely popular topic for lyricists. There are more than 250 published songs with Detroit, or some aspect of Detroit, as a theme. More than 80 songs alone have “Detroit” in the title. To say they run the gamut is like saying Detroit is a big city.

Among the artists who have recorded Detroit-centric songs are the J. Geils Band,  Blondie, Wes Montgomery, Big Bill Broonzy, Robert Plant, Johnny Cash and Rod Stewart. Edgar Froese, founder of "Tangerine Dream, the German electronica band, did "Detroit Snackbar Dreamer," an evocative title, though it contains no lyrics.

Some songs, like “Detroit City (I Wanna Go Home),” by Bobby Bare; “The Motor City Is Burning,” by John Lee Hooker and the MC5; "We Almost Lost Detroit," by Gil Scott-Heron and others; and "Don't Stop Believin'," by Journey, have become well known, if not classics.

Lesser known Detroit songs include "Detroit Winter," by Kannabis The Edit Assassin; "Henry Ford Invents Detroit," by Stan Freberg, and "Detroit 1763," a number about Pontiac's Indian rebellion, by Mustard's Retreat.  

Then there is “Detroit,” by Marcella Detroit, from 1994:

“Detroit
Where the simple things are free
And everything you need
Is there for you, there for you
This town aims at you like a gun
She never misses anyone
She'll chew you up and spit you out
The rest you can borrow"

Those lyrics seem like something out of kiddies' day at the zoo compared with “Amityville,” by Eminem, in which he uses the name of the horror-movie community as a synonym for his hometown: 

“That's why the city is filled with a bunch of fucking idiots still (still)
That's why the first motherfucker poppin some shit he gets killed (killed)
That's why we don't call it Detroit, we call it Amityville ('Ville)
You can get capped after just having a cavity filled (filled)”

In a similar vein, Blade Icewood introduced himself and his city in a gritty "King of Detroit." Icewood was a local underground rapper who was paralyzed by AK-47 gunfire in a gangland-style home invasion in 2004 before being killed in a drive-by on W. 7 Mile in 2005. He certainly talked the talk:

"Uh-ya'll gonna love me for this once, I wanna welcome everyone to Detroit first of all (welcome to Detroit), yeah we do it real big round these parts, I'm the king of the D, Blade Icewood, yeah we bout to take niggas back, back to the ghetto, back to the streets, some 7 mile shit, some Detroit shit, east-westside gutta shit, some gutta shit that's right, and what up to my niggas from the eastcoast, westcoast, down south, we gon ride on niggas, holla at cha boy"

Kid Rock himself has sung about Detroit a number of times, including an old song from early in his rap career, “It’s Still East Detroit to Me,” in which he went off on the renaming of East Detroit to Eastpointe, a move undertaken by city officials and voters  so the public would associate the suburb with the nearby Grosse Pointes instead of its other neighbor, Detroit:

“What’s the matter with the city I live in and the old folk racists fucks?
Maybe I should move back to Romeo but the farm life really sucks…
Everybody’s talking about Grosse Pointe, fuck ‘em
Because it’s still East Detroit to me
What’s the matter with the names we got?
Ya know you motherfuckers make me sick
Flinging your hip but you don’t know shit
Jumpin’ all about Grosse Pointe’s dick.”

On a more sublime note, Dire Straits recorded the epic “Telegraph Road” in 1982. Written by Mark Knopfler, the song – all 14 minutes of it, in some versions – tells the story of suburban development and economic decline along the well known multi-lane highway that stretches from Pontiac to Monroe.

"But believe in me baby and I'll take you away
From out of this darkness and into the day
From these rivers of headlights these rivers of rain
From the anger that lives on the streets with these names
'cos I've run every red light on memory lane
I've seen desperation explode into flames
And I don't want to see it again. . .
From all of these signs saying sorry but we're closed
All the way down the Telegraph Road"

In the "Detroit, Esoteric" category, one of the White Stripes' early songs, "Lafayette Blues" features Jack White ticking off  the names of many of Detroit's French-sounding streets, from Labrosse (West Side) to Marseilles (East Side).

Kid Rock's "Detroit, Michigan," probably falls under the sub-category of Motor City tribute songs, which include recordings by The Four Tops ("Be a Part of the Heart of Detroit") and Smokey Robinson and the Miracles, "I Care About Detroit," in which Smokey proclaims "I'm proud to call this city my hometown," and later notes, "There is much important work still to be done."

The tribute song with the highest amount of star power behind it was probably "Hello, Detroit," a 1984 tune with a "Mad Men" beat that was written by Motown founder Berry Gordy Jr. and sung by Sammy Davis Jr. 

"You're a fighter, you're a lover," Davis crooned, "you're strong and you recover..."

They called Detroit "irresistible" and "hug and kissable." No one really cared that Gordy wrote it from his home in Los Angeles. 

By contrast, Kid Rock is a true believer who walks the walk. He likely worked on "Detroit, Michigan," in his Oakland County hacienda or in his Detroit riverfront home, down the block from the Manoogian Mansion. 

I just hope "Detroit, Michigan," doesn't set back his excellent work of standing up for Detroit, Michigan.