Back in the mid-1990s, one of the dailies did an article about embarrassing vanity license plate typos and the arduous process to get them fixed.
I remember the piece because it included a story about this little old lady who wanted her first initial and last name—T. Watt—on her license plate. Unfortunately, someone wasn’t paying close attention at the jailhouse license plates factory because they forgot the space between the T and W on Ms. Watt’s plate. Until she was able to get it replaced, this poor woman had to drive around town with a vulgar word on the back of her car.
Of course, it’s hard to imagine how one little space made “T WATT” any less risqué than “TWATT,” but what is the state supposed to do? Pay people to determine what are and aren’t appropriate messages for vanity license plates?
Yes, according to mighigan.gov: "Selections cannot be offensive to good taste or decency (as judged by the Department of State)."
Unlike "T WATT, a vanity plate reading “WAR SUX” may not win approval because Michigan Secretary of State Ruth Johnson thinks it will offend children. The words “sucks,” even with the non-standard S-U-X spelling, is too much for the innocent wee ones' delicate eyes, Johnson argues. "War” and the images that word conjures—World War I mustard gas attacks, the Bataan Death March, and My Lai—presumably will cause no harm for Michigan’s precious snowflake Ashtons and Madisons.
Johnson’s won’t-somebody-please-think-of-the-children caterwauling is obnoxious, but let’s also acknowledge that license plates are a ridiculous place to express a political sentiment. Or any sentiment beyond “my car is registered for operation on public roads.”
No other form of government licensing allows for such customization. You can’t get a vanity hunting license or Social Security number. There’s no reason for license plates to be any different.
Especially because vanity plates, time and time again, lead to silly faux-controversies about some bigot who wants a "NOT SEE" (like Nazi!) license plate or whether Washington vanity plate "GOES211" is a Spinal Tap reference or, as someone literally complained, a comment about penis size.
The Secretary of State can’t possibly generate significant revenue from the $30/plate charge from vanity plates. Couldn’t they make it up by adding a buck or two to everyone’s annual registrations and save some bureaucrat the trouble of making a no-win decision about the appropriateness of speech, such as it is on license plates?
Don’t misunderstand, I’m all for free expression and your right to use your car as a billboard for all your special thoughts. However, instead of vanity plates, maybe we could all just support the private sector and buy a damn bumper sticker.
