Wayne County Sheriff Benny Napoleon has something he wants you to know: "After embarking on a listening tour across Detroit, [Tuesday] at the Masonic Temple I will make a special announcement regarding Detroit's future."

It's almost impossible to know what sort of announcement Napoleon plans to make. Since he booked the Masonic Temple, it must be a big deal. It could be anything. So, let's wildly and irresponsibly speculate about the sheriff's big news.

Napoleon will tell the crowd that he's heard from everyday Detroiters and will not run for mayor. Instead, he'll endorse Sixto Rodriguez's mayoral run. Rodriguez then takes the stage and, saving the gathered media and political hanger's on from yet another insufferably boring campaign rally, simply plays a couple songs. 

Napoleon will rally "real Detroiters" to take back their city by sacking and burning Palmer Woods, salting the land as if it was Carthage.
Napoleon will announce that he is running for mayor. However, having discovered a map in the Detroit Historical Museum archives, he must first embark on a hunt for the pirate One-Eyed Willie's treasure. When he returns with Willie's "rich stuff," ideally just before the August primary, he will use the found fortune to solve the city's financial woes and prevent Troy's dad from making Detroit a golf course. He will have no comment on the ongoing investigation into the Fratelli counterfeit ring.
Napoleon, a University of Phoenix professor, will explain his vision to replace the broken model of local government with a private, for-profit city called the "University of Detroit City, Inc." As the sole stockholder, Napoleon will declare himself mayor. Taxes Tuition in the University of Detroit City, Inc. will be as high as in the current Detroit, and the services equally poor or possibly worse. However, residents of this venture will receive a parchment certificate declaring they are University of Detroit City, Inc. graduates. Napoleon will also explain that his city-business has financial aid counselors available to help prospective residents borrow from the federal government to pay their tax tuition bill.
Deciding that he just doesn't have the heart to lose a mayoral race, he will offer himself as a running-mate to any other mayoral candidate who seems likely to lose. Together, he will promise potential running mates, they can return to the salad days of 2005 and recapture the third-place magic of The Power Of Two.
According to his Huffington Post bio, "Benny Napoleon’s awards and honors are too numerous to list." So, as a service to the city, Napoleon will use his Masonic Temple event to simply read the list of all his awards and honors. That way we'll know.