Tonight at 11, Channel 7 will blow the lid off a story that could change everything. They will, at long last, finally expose what are those cloud-like trails that follow jet planes through the air.
WXYZ: The white streaks have many convinced there's some sort of government cover-up.
7 Action News has gone all the way to the Pentagon to get answers about the theory that's taking over the internet.
SPOILER ALERT: It's condensation.
The University of Wisconsin can explain it to you: "Contrails form when hot humid air from jet exhaust mixes with environmental air of low vapor pressure and low temperature. The mixing is a result of turbulence generated by the engine exhaust. Cloud formation by a mixing process is similar to the cloud you see when you exhale and 'see your breath'."
Or maybe that's what they want you to believe and the University of Wisconsin is in on it.
No, that's absurd. But reality hasn't stopped all manner of dummies squawking about chemtrails that...I don't know...put "cancer viruses" into the air. So now channel 7 has to present a story that feigns balance between reality and screwball theories.
Maybe next week WXYZ can figure out if Neil Armstrong actually went to the moon (he did) or determine if the Protocols of the Elders of Zion are real (they're not). They can then finally expose whether or not Kris Kristofferson is really one of the lizard people (of course not. lizard people, seriously?) during sweeps week.
Journalism!
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