Three winnable home games. Three double digit victories. Let's take a look at the slate through the eyes of old Hollywood.
The Three Stooges: As in Andrew Maxwell, Connor Cook, and Tyler O'Connor, the shockingly ineffective trio of Spartan quarterbacks. No one threw for more than 40 yards, all the more troubling when you consider that South Florida was shredded to the tune of 53 points last week against McNeese State. At least the original Stooges were funny. This group garnered nothing but groans from the offense-starved crowd. Who knew that the Bill Burke-Gus Ornstein era would come to represent the "good, old days" of Spartan platoon-quarterbacking?
Little Big Man: The title of this oft-overlooked Dustin Hoffman yarn brings to mind the brilliant play of Jeremy Gallon on Saturday night. On the game's biggest stage, Michigan's senior wideout electrified the national audience with 184 yards and three scores, one of which came as the result of playing pinball off of several Notre Dame defenders. The pint-sized Gallon (he stands just 5'8") seems to have a natural chemistry with Devin Gardner. Such QB-WR connections have been few and far between in Ann Arbor in recent years, unless you count Denard Robinson's near-telepathic relationship with opposing defensive backs.
Day for Night: Iconic French filmmaker Francois Truffaut's 1973 masterpiece follows a bumbling movie crew as they attempt to complete filming despite a myriad of problems. Using certain technical strategies, they shoot in the daylight and hope to transform the footage to appear have taken place at night, thus the title. In the case of MSU's Shilique Calhoun, it became "Defense for Offense." Instead of protecting his own goal line, as is generally custom for a defender, Calhoun decided to streamline the process, pilfering the football and lugging it back the other way. The defensive end for the Spartans led the scoring attack on Saturday with two touchdowns, one on a fumble recovery, the other on an interception. Throw in the TD he scored in the opener and this offensive dynamo has hit pay dirt three times in the season's first two weeks. Keep up this pace and we will almost assuredly have our first defense-only Heisman trophy winner come December (Charles Woodson participated in 152 plays on offense/special teams in 1997).
Ndamukong Suh
Zero for Conduct: Ndamukong Suh, when will you learn? The enigmatic defensive lineman recently took charge during a players-only meeting, the main message being that silly penalties and selfish play were no longer going to define the Lions' franchise. We're one game in on the 2013 docket, and it appears that nothing has changed for big #90. With DeAndre Levy coasting in for an easy pick-six, Suh decided to go low in taking out a Viking who had no chance whatsoever to affect the outcome of the play. The thoughtless maneuver cost the Lions dearly at the time. The above-mentioned title is the perfect embodiment of Suh's career. In the film, boys that misbehaved at school during the week would receive a zero for conduct, in turn preventing them from going out on Sunday. Suh has always had massive ability. The potential for greatness is there, without question. And no matter what he does, you cannot keep the man from going out on Sunday. But to be a defensive leader on a playoff-contending team, you cannot continue to rack up goose eggs in the conduct department. Somebody ought to screen this picture for Ndamukong; if he's into French featurettes from the 1930's, of course.
Sweet Smell of Success: The Lions are on the board right out of the gate. One and oh. Perfect. Now the challenge becomes how to follow up and turn one win into two. A road trip to Scottsdale is on the horizon for next Sunday. The Cardinals always seem to give the Lions headaches, and they improved slightly this off-season by adding veteran Carson Palmer (though Palmer has not registered an active pulse since 2005). The NFL schedule can be unrelenting, so you must take advantage of any soft spots along the way. This two-game stretch to kick off 2013 is just that. Jim Schwartz and his crew took a nice, healthy whiff of success yesterday afternoon. The key is to build upon it, not live off of it.
